I often meet people who are sick of being anxious or sad or unhappy or caught in the churning river of life. While they may find themselves there for a range of reasons, there’s generally a common thread that binds all of their stories.

That thread is the judgement they have made about themselves or their circumstances or about other people. Invariably, that judgement is that the (whatever it is) isn’t fair, or is wrong, or embarrassing, or sad or … the list goes on.

The feelings that flow from those judgements are one side of a coin. The other side is what they think they want. “I just want to be happier.” “I want to have more fun.” “I want to be in love.” The longing and pain in the eyes of those stuck in their rut is heartbreaking.

Contrary to common opinion, the key to the door that leads out of the cycle of good day/bad day, good week/bad week, good relationship/bad relationship is releasing judgement.

Our anchoring in duality (“this is good and that is bad”) creates a never-ending cycle, where one must follow the other. The higher the high, the lower the low that’s just around the corner. Life demands balance.

Norman Vincent Peale, who wrote the famous “Positive Thinking” books, also famously apologised for creating them. He said that while he was practicing what he preached in those books, it was the most unbalanced and neurotic time of his life. Why? Because life demands balance. One side cannot exist without the other.

So the challenge for you (and me) is to be like the leaf on the surface of that rushing river. While the water churns and grinds, wearing down rocks and anything in its path, the leaf floats over the top, influenced by the river but not crushed by it.

Be the leaf. Avoid the high and the lows of life by releasing judgement. If you do, paradoxically, you’ll begin to experience the depth, mystery and abundance of life without really trying.

Love

Andrew